Testimonials

Supportive, non judgmental

My coaching sessions with Debra O’Rourke helped me gain valuable awareness and insight about myself, my relationships, and how I show up in the world. In a supportive, non judgmental environment, I was able to look closely at patterns in my life and the stories I tell myself. I used the Clarity Wheel to differentiate my thoughts, feelings, and needs in specific situations. Each session we worked on an authentic action for the week to help me stay accountable to myself and anchor in the work. Debra approached our work with care, expertise, and open heartedness

~San Diego, CA

Nuanced and impactful

I met Debbie in 2023 after several years of men’s work and counseling. Even though I had done a lot of inner work, I found myself looping, stuck in the same patterns, and unsure of how to move forward. Meeting her just before my spiritual awakening was no coincidence. Debbie created a profoundly supportive environment, meeting me exactly where I was and taking the time to listen deeply. Her coaching style is nuanced and impactful. She holds a warm and safe presence, brings keen awareness to reflect the bigger picture, and offers gentle yet effective suggestions to move in the right direction.

In one of our sessions, I was reminded of my deeper spiritual yearning, which was a moment that aligned with the awakening that followed and continues to shape the work I now do with others. Debbie has a unique ability to help you feel both held and empowered, and I’m deeply grateful for the role she played in helping me reconnect with my truth

~San Jose, CA

Caring, Effective and Fearlessly Straight Forward

Over the past two years I have made quantum leaps toward being the man I want to be, and I attribute this in large part to the work I did with John Butler as my mentor.

John possesses a rare combination of qualities: he is caring, perceptive, and fearlessly straightforward. I experienced, on a consistent basis, his unparalleled listening skills and empathy, his sharp and accurate assessment, and his direct candor. This mix of traits is also present in his coaching style – he has high standards and provides high support.

For me, this translated to an experience that was highly productive and highly challenging. I experienced intense emotions as I was regularly brought face to face with parts of myself that scared, revolted, and angered me. John’s skillful navigation transmuted those episodes of tremendous emotional turmoil into deep learning. The idea of a crucible seems appropriate – step into the fire and emerge transformed.

I learned and developed abilities from John, both via his direct teaching and indirectly through his modeling these skills and traits. Specifically, my work with John improved my skills in the following areas:

– Increased assertiveness – I am able to stand up for myself (maintain boundaries effectively), ask for what I want, and advocate for others (especially those who are unable to advocate for themselves).

– Improved ability to recognize and communicate my emotional state.

– Newfound ability to handle others’ “hot” emotions without getting triggered myself.

– Increased ability to repair relationships.

These skills manifest outward as higher degrees of patience, calm, and confidence.

They have changed my life in unexpected ways. My relationships have improved and deepened – I am now able to listen effectively to others expressing difficult emotions (without getting upset or making it about me), and respond in a way that is meaningful to them. My parenting skills have improved – I have (seemingly paradoxically) become more calm, patient, empathetic, and understanding with my kids, and I am better able to maintain boundaries and communicate expectations.

Having John as my mentor changed my life, and powerfully propelled my development towards becoming the man that I want to be.

~San Jose, CA